Why men need to LOVE the mother of their children…
Why men need to LOVE the mother of their children…
Sacrifices & Selflessness is how I would describe how I see motherhood, and why I feel every husband, partner should love you EVEN more when you become one!
It has been on my mind so much lately, the changes women face when they become mothers – there are the physical changes when you become pregnant, the ‘glow’ (Such BS I never got this!) growing tummy, stretch marks, huge breasts (don’t get used to them!) and emotionally we prepare for the impending arrival as changes already happen within the ten months of being up the duff, you stop going out as much as you just can’t be bothered, and you feel physically as though your not welcome to the pub anymore… you stop drinking & smoking, you start to ‘nest’, and imagine life when baby is here, you will probably resent the fact that your partner doesn’t have to really make any sacrifices as yet, when he comes home drunk you will more than likely see red, and want to stab him..(yep, you may think this sounds harsh, but with those lovely pregnancy hormones, you absolutely will want too!)… It just doesn’t seem fair!
Then comes the time the baby has to come OUT, and while they stand next you encouraging you, supporting you, and feeling helpless we have the joy of squeezing this tiny (although it feels fff huge) bundle of joy out… or it will be cut out, either way painful as shit but still amazing! Weird!
You feel elated, and like a queen who’s just accomplished the best thing EVER, and YOU HAVE!! then begins the journey of feeding your bub, breast is best… so they say, so naturally with your first you will try… and it may work, great – that job is yours for the next 12 months at least – high 5 Dad, you get out of that one.. Or you will bottle feed, sucker you have to help now Dad!
Your partner may stay home a little initially when you first come home from hospital to help, and then you are ON YOUR OWN, and have FULL responsibility for this tiny human, you must feed, wrap, play, sleep, repeat – not to mention now you’re “Home “you will need to maintain house, washing, cooking, etc; and you will, some days will be easier than others, but mostly it’s good… and you can manage, hubby gets home hopefully in time to bath, help a little… he has dinner kisses bub goodnight, and repeat this for a few months… he is providing for you/ the family financially so you feel the least you can do is have everything sorted at home…
Then, SOLIDS and the feeding journey just got more challenging, while Dad goes to work, you cook vegetables, fruits, puree, freeze, and teach your little one, tastes and textures of food… “Here comes the aeroplane”…. You’ve got this!
Before you know it you feel so amazed that your baby, is almost one… and you think about going back to work, or even having more babies… your relationship has changed – honestly, it does – it’s no longer about you and him… it’s about them… and then him, and then you, if you’re lucky enough to have support in the way of babysitters, that’s great because you may still have regular date nights to put some time into you and him… if not, it’s hard… it just is… no one can prepare you for how hard it really is….
I guess what I am trying to say is, yes having children is something you decide together, and a path you take together, but ultimately it is the woman, the mother who is sacrificing the most, who is making the most changes, and ultimately becomes selfless in doing so because everything else is first, the kids, the house, the family, the children… and so on…
I get in some circumstances, and situations this may be different – I am speaking for my personal experience.. With motherhood, and being a stay at home mother ultimately.
I think women, mothers, are truly the most amazing people EVER !
Which is why, when I hear of friends separating and some of the reasons being “she let herself go….” I just fell out of love with her”, she was all about the kids”, I was the forgotten one”… WOW really, how are women, mothers, supposed to do it all when their children are young? They are the ones responsible for everything? Their daily routine consist of getting kids dressed ready for school, feeding, dropping, taking to activities, packing lunches, groceries, preparing dinner, baths, pajamas, homework, bedtime stories, bedtime, washing, repeat….How then do they…. exercise, have “maintenance “appointments child free? Be on point in every other area, work, business, bedtime (not the kids bed time THEIR bedtime!)
Arrgghhh…. Makes my head hurt….*insert I have a headache tonight love!*
Children are young for such a small amount of time, the days are looooonnng but the years are short – our time as mothers are dedicated to them, for such a short period of time in the scheme of things… if that means our children get everything they need, and are raised to the best of our ability… yet we may have put on a few kilos, drank a few too many wines, or god forbid have some habits, for OURSELVES then so be it!!
Mothers, SELFLESS, SCARIFICING creatures who do what they have to do, to raise bloody good kids!!
Don’t knock us,